I have many thoughts on your take on the canons, and hope to form my thoughts on that in a future response as well. Reading a lot about homosexuality and our religious traditioni have some questions. This option is not given to LGBT individuals by the Church, and up until recently, only in certain, Western, non-majority Orthodox, countries.
I've never been ashamed of my homosexuality. I am very sorry that you have been put through these very trying and difficult times. Why would me feeling female change this? Because the Church confirms there are reasons for marriage other than procreation, the Fathers do agree that it would be better to grow into an abstinent state after menopause.
If you especially polled the fornicators and abortionists in this country, due to desensitization of our culture, you would learn that neither of these is wrong. Pedophilia does not happen at any greater rate in the gay community than in the straight community. Can I still be an Orthodox Christian and a lesbian?