That most homosexual people cannot recall Gay Chastity deciding to be homosexual does not mean that God loves homosexual sex any more than he loves adultery, fornication, or idolatry. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for Gay Chastity bonds of communion with others.
Identity is like a pair of glasses. Finallysome say, "God is love. It is a special cross that these people must bear. I like that you can't stand up and use a urinal. What drew you to the fetish in the first place?
We have a biology. Second is a closely related argument which can be summed up, roughly, as "God made me this way, so what I do must be pleasing to him. I know especially in grad school I would often just jack off to get it out of the way, so locking up makes everything a little more fun and out of reach.
It is not just about relationship. In this it can be said to be no more sinful than an inclination to heterosexual fornication or adultery.